A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
- Oscar Wilde

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.
- Rose Macaulay

May your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders.
- Anonymous

Too slow to keep worms in a tin.
- Anonymous

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.
- Oscar Wilde

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.
- William Hazlitt

A slander is like a hornet; if you can’t kill it dead the first time, better not strike at it.
- H.W. Shaw

I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent me the insulting Christmas card I received this morning.
– George Grossmith

Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like a whipped dog.
– Harold Wilson

Never insult anyone by accident.
- Robert A. Heinlein

May your arse cheeks turn into bicycle wheels and backpedal up your arse!
- Anonymous

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

- Oscar Levant

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone.
- Arab Proverb

Humans only use about 1/10 of their brain power. With you, it could be less.
- Anonymous

I can’t believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
- Steven Pearl

I’ve had a wonderful evening - but this wasn’t it.
- Groucho Marx

It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.